This Year's Writing

     Anna Spring

     Dr.deGravelles

     Block 3

     4/28/12  

My Freshman Writing Throughout the Year

     This year has been a year of improvement for my writing. I started out this year with my weakest paper, and I actually ended this year with my best paper. I made improvements in areas of writing including organization, grammar, and word choice. These are the three areas of writing that I think I have improved a tremendous amount throughout the year. I am pleased with my improvements, and I hope to continue to improve my writing through out the next years of high school.

    My first paper was a literary narrative entitled “Love You Forever.” This was a very personal piece of writing for me because I described a childhood book that means a lot to me. Although I am proud of the subject of this paper, it was my weakest piece of writing. I left out many commas in this paper.  I also think there could be improvement in the overall voice of this paper. I left out a great amount of details that could have been added for the better of this essay. However, I think that my sentence structure of the sentences of this paper is really strong. I also got a high grade in that area of the rubric. Overall, my literary narrative had a strong subject, however it was not well developed.

     My second paper was the WRAP essay that we wrote in class.  I got an overall score of a 22.5 out of 36 on this essay. I am not very pleased with this score. However, I got fours on all areas except development, support, and sentence structure. That means that I actually had a four on word choice, which is surprising to me because that is one area that I struggle in most. I also got fours on my organization and mechanics. I think I have good organization skills, and I think this actually is something that is strong in all my papers that I write. I think I did not do so well on this WRAP assignment because we only had two class periods to write the essay. I am the type of person that gets pressured when it is only a short amount of time, so I felt the pressure to finish early. My essay is also really short, so I think that if I would have taken just a little bit more time to stretch it out, I could have gotten a higher score. However, I read this essay numerous times, and I am actually pleased with it.

         The next paper that I wrote after the WRAP was my profile. I wrote my profile about my mom and the way she decorates our house every year. This was a subject actually means a lot to me. Writing this paper was easy because I had so many ideas to put in my paper. I got B’s in all categories except in organization. Once again, this is evidence that I tend to have strong organization skills. While reading this paper, I noticed that I repeated myself multiple times. This is something that I haven’t really improved on through out the year, however I am going to continue to work on not repeating myself.  Like my narrative, I think that I could have added a lot more detail to this paper. Overall, I feel like I improved between my narrative and this profile. My profile was definitely a step better than my narrative.

       My literary analysis is probably my favorite paper that I wrote. It is the one I am most proud of because going into writing it, I had no idea what a literary analysis was. I was surprised that it actually had a strong turn out. I got A’s in most categories, however I got a B on voice. Voice is something that I definitely struggle with, even now. I tend to sometimes have an informal voice, which is something that I am definitely going to continue to work on correcting. I do think that the voice improved between the literary analysis and the paper that I wrote after it.

     The paper I wrote after the literary analysis was my Global Issues Paper. This was the last paper I wrote, and I can confidently say it was my best. I got A’s in all the categories except for source quality and source integration. Those two things were a huge struggle for me while writing the paper, and it does not surprise me that I got a B in those categories. I was very pleased with my A’s in word choice and and voice, because in my papers before this one I got B’s in those categories. I think this is a huge sign that my voice and word choice while writing papers has improved a great amount from the beginning of the year. I am pleased with the outcome of this paper. I think it is the icing on the cake of a good year of writing for me.

      Overall, I am happy with all of my papers from this year. It makes me very happy to look back at my first paper and compare it to my most recent paper. It is amazing to see how much I have improved. I feel like I have improved so much in just one year. I will continue to work on the things that I struggle with in my next years of high, and I look forward to seeing what my writing will be like in a few years. If I have improved this much in one year, I can only imagine how much I will have improved in three years.

   Common Errors List:

1. Not adding enough details. 

2. Usage of informal words. 

3. Issues introduction quotations and citations. 

4. Forgetting to add commas. 

5. Making my paper have a strong voice is something that I struggle with. 

  

Outside Reading

This week, I read a total of 100 minutes reading The Lullaby and 50 minutes reading my science and history books.

Outside Reading

   This week, I have continued to read The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. I spent a total of 120 minutes reading that, and I spent 30 minutes this week reading and analyzing poems. I am not going to lie, I was very tempted to quit reading The Lullaby at the beginning of the week because it was at a boring point. I also just got the sequel to The Hunger Games, so I really want to read this. However, I continued The Lullaby just to see if the plot picked up a bit. I am glad that I continued reading because a lot started to happen in the part that I read.
 For one, just like I expected, Remy and Dexter break up. However, I do not think this is the end of their relationship forever. I have a feeling they will meet again after Remy goes to college. They broke up because Dexter overheard Remy talking to someone about how she will break up with Dexter after Summer. I think that it really hurt Dexter's feelings because he seemed to think that the relationship would last for a while. Dexter also just got a gig with his band and they will be going to DC, so he will be busy with his own things. I am about one third the way finished with the book so I am sure that not much else will happen. I am really sure that Dexter and Remy will get back together, however I am not sure that it will end with "Happily ever after." There has to be some kind of obstacle or conflict.

"Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran

  I chose the song "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran to analyze. It is not a very popular song, however I really like his music. Here is a link with the song and the lyrics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF2AlO8cKbE. While listening, poetic devices stuck out to me automatically. In the first line, it says "Give me love like her." This is a smilie, so he started his song with a poetic device. I am not sure what or who this song is about, however I think he might have been talking about a girl that he really likes. He started out with this line because he sees her as "love." He wants somebody to give him "her", which to him means love. In the third line, it says "Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt." I would describe this as imagery because while hearing this line you automatically see this picture of colorful spots of paint on his shirt. In lines 6 and 8, the end of the sentence ends with "ya." This would be a sign of repetition. In line 11, it says "All I want is the taste that your lips allow." This is personification because lips cannot allow anything. They cannot physically do that themselves, the person with the lips would do that. Also, in line 5 he mentions "And that i'll fight my corner." This is also personification because you cannot fight a corner in a room.
  There were three main devices that were used through out this song. Similies, and signs of imagery and repetition were all used quite often in the song. The end of the song actually ends with him singing "Give me love" ten times. That is a major sign of repetition. Imagery was used to portray a picture of him crying, crying what seems like tears of joy because they are colorful. Personification is used to add depth and meaning to something that means something to him personally. I think that this song uses many poetic devices, and I did not think about this song in that way before studying poetry.

"My Papa's Waltz" by Theodore Roethke

  This week, we were required to read a poem from our poetry books and interpret it in a blog. I chose the poem "My Papa's Waltz" by Theodore Roethke. I chose this poem because I really liked the way it sounded after reading it out loud. It is a shorter poem, and I felt that the length gave it depth. It was short yet still interesting. It was also very easy to understand. After reading it once, I understood the purpose. The poem must be about a personal experience, because while reading I could actually picture a little boy dancing with his dad before bed time. However, the experience does not sound pleasant. In the first stanza, line 2 it says "could make a small boy dizzy." One line after that one it says "Such waltzing was not easy." This means that the boy had difficulty dancing and did not seem to enjoy it. Also, these two lines do not have a definite rhyme scheme, however I do notice that the words dizzy and easy sound similar. In the second stanza, the rhyme scheme becomes evident. The last word on line 6 is "shelf", and the last word in line 8 is "itself." Also in line 7 the word countenance appears, but I have no idea of what that word means. It also discusses how the mother is frowning. It seems to me like dancing was not what this father and son were doing. However, I cannot figure out what they were actually doing.
  In the third stanza, the rhyme scheme even becomes more evident. In fact, lines 9 and 11 rhyme while lines 10 and 12 also rhyme. By rhyme, I mean the last word in the line rhymes with the other last word in the other sentence. In the third stanza, a battered knuckle is also mentioned. I do not know what these means, I guess the fathers knuckle was cut or something. Also, in line 12, it says "My right ear scraped a buckle." I think this means that the little boy was getting hurt some how. I picture this little boy with his head up against his dad's belt buckle. However, I am not sure that this is the true meaning. There is lots of imagery in this poem. I so vividly can see this little boy dancing with his dad. In the fourth stanza, the rhyming continues to progress. The first line in this stanza says "You beat time on my head." I am not sure what this means. Maybe the father is tapping his hand on the son's head keeping the beat of the music. Once again, there is a reference to a hand. Line 2 says "With a palm caked hard by dirt." This must mean that the father is hard worker. Finally, the last two lines say "Them waltzed me off to bed, Still clinging to your shirt." After reading the last two lines, I think that the dad must have been singing the child to sleep while dancing with him. Maybe the family is suffering from a hard time or something of that matter. I really enjoyed the sound of this poem and how it almost sounds as if it could be sung like a song. I also love the imagery.

The Lullaby

  This week for outside reading, I have continued to read The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. I read 150 minutes with a total of 70 pages. In the past blog post, I predicted that Remy and Dexter's relationship would get more serious. It turns out that I was right. They are learning more things about each other. Remy is also noticing flaws such as how messy he is and how he is also tapping his foot or hand. However, there are small things that are keeping them together. She feels like the relationship is turning into something she did not want it to turn into. I think that the relationship will continue to grow, even if she does not want it too. There is something holding them together, but I haven't figured it out yet. Remy is starting to be aware of how the relationship has to end soon because she will be going to college. I do not think the relationship will end when she goes to college. I think that they will continue to stay together, even if it has to be long distance.
  Remy is fascinated with all the fans that Dexter has because he is in a band. I think that this makes her feel good because she has someone who is wanted by others. I also think that there may be a conflict in the relationship soon. Perhaps Dexter cheats on her with one of his fans. I just think the relationship seems too perfect at this point, and something must happen soon. Or, maybe I am completely wrong. There has already been lots of conflicts with her mothers relationships, so Remy has learned from these conflict. I think she is wise enough to not let the same things happen in her relationships. I am about half way done with the book, so I am sure a lot will happen in the second half because the first half was almost uneventful.

Outside Reading

  This week, I have continued to read The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. I read for the full 120 minutes, and I read a total of 70 pages. I really like this book. It is different from other books I have read. Remy (the main character) works at a beauty salon. In the pages I read, a boy from Dexter's (the boy who really likes Remy) band wants to get a job at the beauty salon. At the salon, she meets this boy whose name is Ringo. After working at the salon, she goes to her mom's fourth wedding. She is not happy to be at this wedding. Her brother is with his girlfriend who Remy does not like at all. Remy's friend, Lisa, has a bit too much to drink at the wedding so she feels herself taking care of Lisa. Also, it just so happens to Dexter is in the band that is playing at the wedding. After the wedding, Remy goes to her brother's girlfriend's house for dinner. Remy brings up childhood memories that the brother is not fond of, and he ends up calling her a name. He calls her bitter and something else. After that, she goes to her friend Chloe's house and has a bit to drink. After leaving her friends house, she goes to a bar. She ends up getting in a fight with someone at the bar, and Dexter comes to pick her up. She wakes up the next morning having no idea where she is, even though she is at Dexter's house.
   I was surprised by what all has happened so far. I knew that her mom would eventually get married. I was also surprised when Dexter said that his mother is on her fifth marriage. I think this was a bonding moment for Remy. Remy all this time is trying to avoid Dexter, however I am not really sure. She has described him as really cute and he really seems to like her, so I don't know why she does not like him. Maybe it is because her mom has had so many relationships that did not last. At the end of the part that I read, Remy ends up kissing Dexter. Like I predicted, I know she would eventually give in. I predict that they stay together for a while. I do not think it will last long though, because Remy seems to be having some issues with family. I look forward to what happens next.